Tinder and the Art of Selection

Tinder and other online dating services have rapidly increased in both its usage and social acceptance over the last few years, to have met a romantic partner through an online site seven years ago was considered embarrassment of horrendous amount but having one’s first encounter on Tinder today is the new norm. And the accessibility is truly remarkable, everyone with a smartphone can sign up for free and swipe the night away finding people in their close surroundings that turn out to be a perfect match. Whatever someone might want in a romantic partner can easily be put into numbers and statistical matters, such as height in someone’s biograph section or those perfect dark curls. It filters through a lot of meaningless tries; political standpoints and sexual preferences that don’t match can easily be swiped away. Left!

It can’t be denied that online dating is convenient, it allows for people to hold higher standards in their relationships and not accidentally get emotionally involved with others who might be disrespectful or who they don’t share the same fundamental values, however it also allows for people to set unrealistic standards for people, and ultimately not view people as people. On Tinder you might swipe left on someone because they are too short, even with just an inch, or because their third image made them seem weirder for your liking, but someone can be utterly miserable at presenting themself online and be that inch “too short” but in real life be incredible compassionate, caring, and attractive enough for you to flutter just at the thought of them holding your hand. And reflecting upon your current relationships, the closest ones in our lives are not perfect (if it ever would exist such a thing), mostly far from, and the primary reason we find liking in them is because of an unexplainable connection that only can be experienced in interacting with them personally, usually in real life. Also, thinking about them in matters of qualities it doesn’t matter if they tick the boxes of “the ultimate friend”, which they usually don’t, because they provide personality traits that you wouldn’t ever imaging finding appealing. The same principle works for romantic relationships. The person you might fall in love with and have an amazing relationship with might not be a morning person which you anticipated, but they can perhaps speak several languages, and while they can’t cook even if their life depended on it, again which you wished, they woo you with their skills in bouldering. But most importantly, being that inch shorter than wished for will never undermine the fact that someone will make you laugh until you cry and cuddle you all throughout the night when being ill and make you feel the best version of yourself. Love doesn’t grow and bloom from the shallowness of specific details, but from the connection between people. People are not their qualities that can be specified and written down into a character limited bio on an online dating app, they are complex and diverse individuals which needs to be explored fully in regard of wishlists.

17ikuta8vm9k1jpg.jpgImage from Gizmodo.

Ultimately, people should not be open to love everyone, I can’t disagree with that. But to find a romantic partner is more than statistical analyses. It’s wonderfully weird to fall in love with someone who you never thought you could love, and most of the time those relationships last the longest. Tinder will never be able to provide that.

Adrian

 

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